No. 23
i stand on the most uncertain point of my life till date. Something tells me life is gonna change. For better or for worse. And the choice lies in my hands. As cliched as it may sound, but at the stroke of 12 i shall be 24. A huge number it is. I cant carry its weight. And i noticed i have changed. I lost the college me somewhere on the way to work. Now iv lost the light from my eyes. It now settles in heaven.
So basically, i come across as a not so happy person right now. Socially, its unsettling. Personally, its somehow comforting. The cocoon is cozy, not claustrophobic. I've revisited a lot of decisions and iv gained a new perspective. I like it. But it cost too much. Like most of the most valued things.
And I've found that our life is majorly fake. Like we fake camaraderie in the office. Which anyway is not the most fertile place for great relations to flourish. So they say. Iv experienced the contrast, n it was pleasant as long as it lasted. Like many other things again.
I've also found that man is more blind than the truly blind. Blind to follies that get clear as soon as its too late. Blindly loving the wrong person. Blind to what you lose in the bargain. Blind to the knowledge that every action reacts. Later than sooner.
Who is this person?
i want to end this on a positive note. but i cant find one. maybe at this point, i cant see them. but they surely are around. somewhere in a corner. leaving me alone for a while. waiting for me to find them. discover them. explore them. and in the process, i might find myself.
I want to be conscious of myself and not just go with the flow. i want to make informed decisions. ones i wont have to revisit, for a change. never. but guess as they say if we knew the future, if god gave us everything we wanted, there would really be nothing to life. so i watch each day as it passes. every day is part of a construction i cannot fathom. interrupted by small diversions that completely change the route. and the construction continues. a newer story. a fresh chapter.
I want to make sense of everything. Soon.
23. set me free.
So basically, i come across as a not so happy person right now. Socially, its unsettling. Personally, its somehow comforting. The cocoon is cozy, not claustrophobic. I've revisited a lot of decisions and iv gained a new perspective. I like it. But it cost too much. Like most of the most valued things.
And I've found that our life is majorly fake. Like we fake camaraderie in the office. Which anyway is not the most fertile place for great relations to flourish. So they say. Iv experienced the contrast, n it was pleasant as long as it lasted. Like many other things again.
I've also found that man is more blind than the truly blind. Blind to follies that get clear as soon as its too late. Blindly loving the wrong person. Blind to what you lose in the bargain. Blind to the knowledge that every action reacts. Later than sooner.
Who is this person?
i want to end this on a positive note. but i cant find one. maybe at this point, i cant see them. but they surely are around. somewhere in a corner. leaving me alone for a while. waiting for me to find them. discover them. explore them. and in the process, i might find myself.
I want to be conscious of myself and not just go with the flow. i want to make informed decisions. ones i wont have to revisit, for a change. never. but guess as they say if we knew the future, if god gave us everything we wanted, there would really be nothing to life. so i watch each day as it passes. every day is part of a construction i cannot fathom. interrupted by small diversions that completely change the route. and the construction continues. a newer story. a fresh chapter.
I want to make sense of everything. Soon.
23. set me free.
posted by Fly @ 5:49 PM
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