Ummapalm

Rajesh Khanna left the building yesterday. The media is full of him right now. It will be for a few days. But this mandatory, post death chronicling of his life by the media, has given youngsters like me a little glimpse into the era he ruled.

I belong to the Shahrukh Khan era. Like Rajesh Khanna put it in all the 4 public appearances he made in his later life, "Ye bhi ek daur hai, wo bhi ek daur tha." My kids will know what a star SRK was and how much i loved him. Likewise, many of my friends do know bits about RK's craze through their mothers. I haven't matched up on that front cz my mom's favourite hero has always been Dad.

So armed with the little glimpse provided by the media, and bits of folklore provided by friends, courtesy their mothers, i set out to find more about the father of the word "Superstar".

There are few more points that fueled my desire to play reporter. I did know he was the original superstar and all but there were some really scary bits to it too. Like, someone told me that women used to fill their maangs (Remember ek chutki sindoor?) with the dust of his footsteps or the tracks of his car. That he was a husband to many, albeit in the form a picture. That the shock of his sudden wedding drove many heartbroken girls to suicide. If you are a numbers guy, a twitter post informed that he is the only man ever to have delivered fifteen consecutive hits at the box office! Fifteen is the word, so is consecutive.

More recently, I was deeply affected by his very frail frame. His lame attempts at oration at award functions. That he did some shady films like Wafaa. That his last appearance was in a poor ad for Havells Fans that mocked his superstardom by replacing the maniacal maang me mud smearing fans with bladed metallic ones. And that he was too delirious to make a judgement against it.

The effects of extreme, unparalleled fame is a story worth digging. If you are thinking of the sorts Sr. Bachchan and Shahrukh Khan enjoy today, you are far off the mark. The very same people vouch for RK as the guy who experienced stardom the way none of them have. Get the drift? Now, compare that to his recent state. And we have a story at hand. An intriguing tale of the dizzying heights of success and it's dark lonesome shadows lurking close by. You are trapped in either, at different points of time. Never free.

So my research led me to a documentary by James Clarke called "Bombay Superstar". Based on the life and stardom of Rajesh Khanna, it was broadcast as part the 'Man Alive' series on BBC in 1973.

I had never been exposed to the RK of his prime, other than in his movies. I had no clue how he sounded like in interviews, what his body language was like. When i saw him in this documentary, i saw a quiet, almost shy man. He didn't have that superstar like flamboyance. He was erratic, but politely. And he definitely enjoyed the attention. He was thriving on it. It must have been unexpected, the fame, he reveled in it so much he couldn't take it's absence.

In the docu, he has been described as "insecure" and "complex". On the outside, he had that quiet poetic charm adorned by a handsome chiseled face. He wasn't a boisterous jutt like Dharmendra, not like the affable and energetic Jeetendra, nor had the dignified demeanor of an Amitabh. He looked complex. He looked like a mystery women would want to own and spend their lives solving. On screen, he had those intense eyes, that charismatic smile. His hurt would hurt you. His smile could disarm you, making the sun shine again.

He was as starry as stars get. Arriving late on the sets was something producers and directors always had to make peace with. He rubbished punctual new comers like Amitabh. "Time pe to clerks aate hain", he said. But should we hold that against him? A few aren't, but which superstar is not erratic? Would life have treated him better if he was more clerk like in his habits? India is a country that celebrates celebrity indiscipline. It contributes to their stardom. And he played along. His downfall was not caused by his disregard for discipline, but it surely was reflective of something deeper. The fame made him lose sense of time. He turned so narcissistic that he assumed immortality. He forgot that if time can take him higher, it can also push him from there. One has to constantly remember the promiscuity of time. Hope for the best, but always also prepare for the worst. Or it can take you unawares. So much so that the shock will render you incapable of a counter attack, of a Plan B.

The other side of success can either be a rough patch that you cross over or a black hole of misery that sucks you in forever. The question is, is a person rejected at birth (RK was adopted) capable of rejecting the acceptance of millions? Are we expecting too much by expecting him to behave normal? Since none of us have experienced that sort of frenzy, how can we dictate its rules?

Regaining practicality, i reckon it is only beneficial to try and think straight in life. Else the end is too depressing for one to want to be a part of it; however romantic the idiosyncrasies of fame are.

Time is like that. The greatest gift and the greatest illusion of life is youth. It's beauty and energy makes us forget that we will be old too. Frail, slow and sick. And the worst thing one can do then is to stay stuck in the best years. Like Rekha is in her own way. With the red lipsticks and kanjivarams. Old age has it's good bits too. If we manage to maintain our health, we have all the time to indulge in all the leisurely activities a busy professional life didn't allow. There's no fun in misery.

I wish he had a more stable life. The fame going to his head simply cost him everything that would have endured him once it was gone. His family, his peace of mind. But, people are stupid and shit happens. God gives cruel tests sometimes and not all have the strength to endure.

So, so long, Kaka. You gave us the best songs, the best movies, and the precious feeling of unparalleled love to millions of girls. You gave us too much. But your contributions came from an industry where unfortunately, 'the show goes on'. You figured it out later, but maybe a bit too late. Truly, "Ye bhi ek daur hai, wo bhi ek daur tha".

I wish you lived a longer, healthier, happier life. But more than that, i hope you are not regretful now. Right now, from up there. And if it's of any solace, let me recount that you were, are and always will be the original Superstar. That you are etched in history, just like you wanted it. Your legend goes on.

Anand mara nahi, Anand marte nahi.




His parting message, posted above, came out a few days after his demise. It made me feel good. I was happy that he didn't die a bitter, regretful death, that i feared. In the message, he recounts his journey and has only thanks to give. He sounds humble and full of gratitude for all the people who made him what he was. It's strange to hear a message from a man who knows and has embraced the eventuality of death. I guess in his last days he was just happy to have gotten the opportunity to lead a life most could only dream of. A happy way to go.

And quite fittingly, his last words were "Pack Up."

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